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10 Common Return-to-Work Concerns—and How to Mentally Prepare for Them

It's only natural to feel a little anxiety (or a lot).
woman struggling to carry home and work items
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I’m a classic extrovert. I get energy from being around people. My friends joke that if they’re all busy, I’ll go down a list until I find someone to hang out with me. The pandemic only made this clearer when I could no longer socialize in person and all of my psychiatry patients moved to virtual appointments. I simply missed humans.

Unlike most people I know, I was excited to finally go back to at least some amount of in-person work. Even just that one day a week seeing patients without a screen as a barrier between us was exciting. But there are so many other things about work that have changed. My office is new. I have to wear a mask. There are protocols for entering the building. It’s not the same by any means, which is undoubtedly a source of stress. I am not the same either.

I know I’m not alone in the increased anxiety I feel because we’re not able to just return to “normal.” “Everybody's feeling this,” Carol Bernstein, M.D., professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences and past president of the American Psychiatric Association, tells SELF. “That is what makes this disaster different from anything else we've ever known. There isn't anyone who’s immune.”

It makes sense, then, that a lot of the questions I’m getting right now from patients are about returning to an environment that used to feel very normal and now does not: work in real life. Honestly, it’s incredibly hard to have concrete answers about such a moving target. Still, I asked some experts for their opinions on common, anxiety-producing return-to-work scenarios people are facing and their proposed solutions. I hope that reading through the following scenarios will help you feel better prepared to navigate returning to work if it’s something you have done, are doing, or will do in the future.

1. You’re worried about getting exposed to COVID-19.

Maybe you don’t know everyone’s vaccination status, or you do know that some people you work with are not vaccinated, and you’re scared. This is a valid and increasingly common concern. Since you cannot control everyone else, Tamara Hubbard, M.A., L.C.P.C., a licensed counselor and family therapist in private practice in the Chicago area, suggests focusing on what you can personally do to keep you and your loved ones safe.

Think about the things you can control, like getting the vaccine yourself, wearing a mask even if you’re vaccinated (especially indoors and/or with large groups), social distancing, not having physical contact with others, and washing your hands, Jessica Gaddy Brown, L.I.C.S.W., founder and clinical director of Nia Noire Therapy+Wellness, tells SELF. M. Daniele Fallin, Ph.D., chair of the department of mental health at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, suggests people learn more about their companies’ policies on vaccination, masking, distancing, and air quality, and about their own personal risk. This can help ease some of the anxiety about being back in the workplace.

If your anxiety gets worse, do not hesitate to ask for help. “What we want to really keep tabs on for ourselves is how much time in a day we are spending worrying about our personal safety,” Rebecca Brendel, M.D., J.D., president-elect of the American Psychiatric Association, tells SELF. “If you're masking but you're still finding yourself wiping things down eight or 10 times a day, losing sleep at night, or having difficulty focusing at work, then it’s time to get help managing your anxiety.”

2. You’re worried about returning to a more rigid work schedule.

Some people have truly thrived with the newfound flexibility of working remotely, Hubbard says. If that sounds like you, there are a few things you can do to keep that flexibility in your life as you return to work.

Hubbard recommends first making a list of your concerns about returning to a rigid routine. Ask yourself, “What do I anticipate will get in the way of being successful when I’m back at work?” and “What does my mind say won’t work well?” These answers can then help guide the strategies for what comes next.

One option is to make your case to your supervisor or manager, showing them how productive you have been at home and suggesting a flexible work schedule or hybrid option, Benjamin F. Miller, Psy.D., president of the national health foundation Well Being Trust, tells SELF. Of course, they could say no, and knowing how to advocate for yourself is in itself challenging, but it’s worth a try.

If making your case doesn’t work, or if you are not able or ready to ask, the next step is to shift your mindset, Hubbard says. “Rather than chasing the unattainable goal of trying to control things, think about what you can positively influence or impact.” For example, you might be less-than-thrilled about resuming your hour-long commute. Instead of just being annoyed, think about how you made the most of that extra time when you had it, and create a new purpose for your commute. If you’ve been using those hours to rest and relax, focus on decompressing activities during your revamped commute, like listening to a meditation podcast. It won’t solve everything, but it may help.

3. You’re worried you’ll lose the work-life balance you finally have.

For many, the pandemic has been a wake-up call that revealed how much we actually neglected our self-care before now, Brown says. Now, many of us have gotten a taste of better balance and aren’t ready to give it up.

The best way to maintain balance is to try to make it a priority, as easy as that is to say and hard to do. Start by asking yourself how you define balance and self-care, Hubbard says. Is it by certain activities, the number of activities, or the quality of them? Similarly, rank your self-care practices in order of importance, Brooke Huminski, L.I.C.S.W., a psychotherapist in private practice in Rhode Island and Massachusetts, tells SELF. Then, work as many as you can into your routine. For example, if you want to keep taking a yoga class and your schedule can be flexible, put it in your calendar so it’s a planned part of your day. Or, if your daily walks have been hugely helpful for you, try to still take a walk at lunch. 

This also means doing your absolute best to cut out things that don’t serve you. “There are only 24 hours in a day, and every time we say yes to something, we are taking time from something else we would have been doing, like engaging in rest and self-care,” Nicole Washington, D.O., M.P.H., chief medical officer of Elocin Psychiatric Services, tells SELF. She suggests tracking your time so you can then figure out which activities to replace with self-care.

And if you find yourself preemptively missing the balance you’ve found during this chaotic time, remember that you’ve proven this balance is possible. “You did it once under the enormous circumstances of quarantine, so you can do it again under the enormous circumstances of trying to transition back to work, Alfiee M. Breland-Noble, Ph.D., M.H.Sc., psychologist and founder of the mental health nonprofit AAKOMA project, tells SELF.

4. You’re worried about getting exhausted from socializing.

Even as an extrovert, as we reemerged, I noticed I was fatigued after socializing for one day when I used to be able to do it for days in a row. According to Dr. Washington, my experience is normal, and only worsened by the awkwardness of social interactions right now where we wonder, “Are we shaking hands?” and “Am I standing too close?”

The key to rebuilding your social stamina is to go slowly. If it’s possible, try to start with just one day of in-person work, and build from there, Angela Lawson, Ph.D., associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology and psychology at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine, suggests.

Just make sure to be patient with yourself and know that your first day back may not be your best. “It's going to take an adjustment to get back to where we used to be the same way it took an adjustment when we first went virtual,” Dr. Brendel says.

Boundaries are invaluable too. By setting (and enforcing) your own boundaries, you’ll teach others how to best engage with you in work spaces, Brown says. “Perhaps that could look like a Do Not Disturb sign on your cubicle or office door, using headphones when you work, or informing your coworker that you are focused on a task and will revisit a conversation when you have the capacity,” she suggests.

5. You’re worried that microaggressions at work will worsen your mental health.

It is critically important when we think about returning to work that we are mindful that work environments are not hospitable to everyone equally, particularly people with marginalized identities, Riana Elyse Anderson, Ph.D, L.C.P., assistant professor in the Department of Health Behavior and Health Education at the University of Michigan's School of Public Health, tells SELF. She points out that microaggressions factor into why some people of color don’t want to go back to the workplace.

Dr. Anderson recommends advocating for a new work setup if doing so feels safe and feasible. Ask to continue working remotely if you like doing it and can make a good case for it productivity-wise. Or consider creating an alternative working space with people that you know and trust, away from people who are aggressors to you at work if at all possible. If you haven’t already, and if this makes sense for your specific situation, it can also help to form a group of peers who identify as marginalized that can regularly support each other on the issues they face at work, according to Dr. Washington.

It also might be time to rethink your workplace altogether. Dr. Breland-Noble recommends reflecting on what it has felt like to live in an environment without microaggressions, emotionally and physically. “If you find that the last 18 months have given you a freedom that you had not experienced before, then it might be time to consider that your current workplace is not the best fit.” Of course, the ability to find a new job or even leave your current one without something new lined up can take time, money, and various other privileges. But if it’s something you can do, it may be worth considering.

6. You’re worried about how your doomscrolling will affect your workday.

Returning to the workplace may actually make it easier to disconnect, Dr. Brendel points out. (It’s much harder to discreetly check Twitter if you’re sitting in a conference room with other people.) But if the nature of your job is such that you can get distracted by your phone or the news throughout the day, you may need to set some limits.

Dr. Anderson suggests turning off notifications on your phone or even just physically moving it away from you. (Hey, if it works it works!) You can also try scheduling specific times to look at news or social media, or setting actual time limits for your browsing via apps that are meant to help curb social media use. (You can read more about how to do that here.)

Understanding why you scroll in the first place can also make it easier to stop. “For some, there can be a desire to check for reassurance or for avoidance of emotions like fear or guilt,” Huminski notes. “Sitting with the emotions, honoring where they are coming from, and potentially considering a useful action step can lead to connection and prevent compulsive acts like constant checking.”

7. You're worried about not feeling like part of the team because you started remotely.

Feeling like an outsider is hard enough, but it can be even more difficult when combined with extra uncertainty during a time of transition. “New jobs are challenging under the best of circumstances, and there is no question that starting something new when you haven't had the opportunity to really meet your coworkers makes the situation more difficult,” Dr. Bernstein says. Maybe you’re nervous that you won’t fit in with your team, or that you won’t like the people or job when you’re doing it in person. But there is also a positive way to view the experience of being new in a role right now.

“Once everybody is back in the work environment, to some extent this is going to be a new job for everybody because the pandemic has really changed so much of the way we work and the way we think,” Dr. Bernstein says. “So it would be helpful to view this more as an opportunity, rather than something that's an extra burden.”

8. You’re worried about balancing productivity and the mental health of your workforce as a manager.

First of all, it is a step in the right direction for managers to be talking about mental health at all. “Awareness and normalization of our collective psychological distress is a major advance toward reducing stigma and promoting inclusion,” Dr. Fallin says. It can also benefit the company. “Evidence shows that workers who feel supported by managers are more likely to stay in their job, to have higher attendance, and to be productive,” Dr. Fallin says.

Of course, employers can be supportive and still have goals for their employees. “[A manager can] expect excellence while recognizing there are multiple ways to achieve it,” Dr. Fallin says. This might mean allowing for flexibility in schedules and work styles, for example, depending on each person’s wants and needs. It’s also important to define what productivity really means and looks like.

“Productivity is not just about how much work gets done in a day: It's about how much work can get done in a day in a sustainable fashion, what kind of strategic thinking happens, and what kind of creativity gets fostered,” Dr. Brendel says.

Sometimes, the workplace itself can cause stress, anxiety, and burnout, and the root cause needs to be addressed. Managers can help by familiarizing themselves with the signs of mental health conditions, the appropriate language to have conversations around these topics, resources available in their community for care, and how to foster a healthy and supportive workplace. To learn more, you or your manager could consider doing the American Psychiatric Association Foundation’s Center for Workplace Mental Health Notice. Talk. Act. at Work Training or, at least download the return-to-the workplace guide here.

9. You’re worried you won’t like your job anymore.

The truth is we are different people now and might want different things than we did pre-pandemic. “To think that we would feel exactly the same as we did 18 months ago is not realistic,” Dr. Brendel says. “What is realistic is to be patient, to give ourselves time, and to check in with ourselves about how we're doing."

Dr. Brendel suggests setting easy goals for day one—remember your mask, get to the office on time, don’t crash the computer system—and putting a note in your calendar to check in with how you’re feeling in a week and a half. She also recommends making a list of what makes working from home satisfying and trying to add those things into your work environment. Think: How can I create a “new normal” that makes my job feel right for me?

Similarly, take time to note all the potential positives of returning to the workplace. While you may have loved cutting out your commute and being able to work in your pajamas, social interactions come with huge mental health benefits. Anxiety makes it easy to focus on the negatives, so it’s important to hold onto the potential positives, Dr. Brendel says.

10. You’re worried you won’t have the motivation to get dressed in real clothes and show up in person every day.

Many experts emphasized just how common and understandable it is to just feel off right now. The pandemic changed everything we did, from interacting with friends, to dining out, to keeping our kids in school, Dr. Miller says. “It can sap our motivation and lead us to a place where we may feel sad.”

But feeling sad isn’t necessarily bad. It can provide information and data about where we are and should help inform our decisions, Dr. Anderson says.

Though it can be challenging, Huminski suggests listening to your emotions and making small behavior changes to improve your mood. For example, switch uncomfortable work clothes out with ones that feel soft and appealing, make plans with the one colleague you enjoy seeing during the day, or establish a relaxing morning routine. This method, called behavioral activation, is a skill often taught in psychotherapy. It teaches you how changing your behaviors can influence your mood.

Sometimes, when our motivation is really low, we can help boost it by taking action, Dr. Lawson says. Maybe even forcing it if the end goal is ultimately a positive one. While you may not realize it, going to work itself—and the routine, structure, and socialization it provides—might actually help make you feel better, says Christine Moutier, M.D., the chief medical officer at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Even if you don’t feel particularly interested in doing it.

However, if your feelings last for a long period of time, are associated with other symptoms like change in sleep or appetite or lack of interest, are worsening, or are interfering with your day-to-day life, you may be experiencing depression and may want to consider seeking mental health help. In that case, you are not simply “sad” and “unmotivated,” and going back to work or staying at home will not fix it.

Ultimately, no matter what, know that you are doing the best you can with a truly challenging and novel situation. No one has an instruction manual for returning to work in a global pandemic. As Dr. Bernstein says, “Perfect is the enemy of the good.” In these circumstances, it’s okay to do your best and accept that sometimes “good enough” is good enough. “Sometimes we do better than at other times, and that's okay because we're human.”

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